When I was very young my mom told me many times to "consider the source". I always took it to mean that the other "source" was somehow less than me. I don't know that is how she meant it, but that is how I took it. He or she wasn't worth my hurt feelings because they weren't as good as me in some way, or worth as much as me in some way. Of course as an adult, I completely understand how my childish understanding was skewed. However, I do believe in the statement "consider the source". Let me give a few examples why "considering the source" is helpful.
A person who has never had a cavity requiring a dentist to fill it may not understand why another person doesn't look forward to going to the dentist.
A person living in California may not understand why a person from the Midwest might have reservations about visiting the San Andreas fault area. The person in the Midwest might not understand why a person from California might be concerned about the possibility of tornados.
If we want to love people, we must "consider the source". I need to understand where a person comes from to understand the way they view the world. I need to understand how my use of words may differ from the way others use words. I remember when I learned that "I am anxious to go on vacation" did not mean excited to go on vacation, but meant worried about going. I had used that sentence completely wrong.
If a person was abused as a child, or if a spouse was unfaithful, certain "jokes" or ribbing can be hurtful rather than funny. A person with OCD doesn't appreciate me saying that I have a touch of OCD. A person who has suicide touch their lives flinches when someone says they'd shoot themselves if they had to [insert something lame like "eat beets"].
To love other people, consider the source.
To not be hurt by other people, consider the source. Everyone knows only what they know. You don't know if some nickname is hurtful, or if some good-natured ribbing strikes a raw nerve. Do not be offended easily. Consider the source. Did they intentionally hurt your feelings? If not, consider that they just didn't know enough to not hurt you. If so, consider that they themselves are somehow insensitive to the plight of others.
Consider the source - as often as you can.
A person who has never had a cavity requiring a dentist to fill it may not understand why another person doesn't look forward to going to the dentist.
A person living in California may not understand why a person from the Midwest might have reservations about visiting the San Andreas fault area. The person in the Midwest might not understand why a person from California might be concerned about the possibility of tornados.
If we want to love people, we must "consider the source". I need to understand where a person comes from to understand the way they view the world. I need to understand how my use of words may differ from the way others use words. I remember when I learned that "I am anxious to go on vacation" did not mean excited to go on vacation, but meant worried about going. I had used that sentence completely wrong.
If a person was abused as a child, or if a spouse was unfaithful, certain "jokes" or ribbing can be hurtful rather than funny. A person with OCD doesn't appreciate me saying that I have a touch of OCD. A person who has suicide touch their lives flinches when someone says they'd shoot themselves if they had to [insert something lame like "eat beets"].
To love other people, consider the source.
To not be hurt by other people, consider the source. Everyone knows only what they know. You don't know if some nickname is hurtful, or if some good-natured ribbing strikes a raw nerve. Do not be offended easily. Consider the source. Did they intentionally hurt your feelings? If not, consider that they just didn't know enough to not hurt you. If so, consider that they themselves are somehow insensitive to the plight of others.
Consider the source - as often as you can.
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