Relationships should make us better.

Courtesy of Deanna Etienne. Used by permission.

Relationships should make us better than we would be on our own. I have analyzed this statement through the eyes of many relationships, those of couples, friends, co-workers, etc. I believe it stands up to scrutiny. When we start to date, when we start a job, when we meet new people or join a new group, we should expect to be changed by it. We each change over time. Some of those changes are a direct result of our relationships.

They call it peer pressure. We often relegate that concept to teens or preteens but we all change to meet the expectations of those around us. Many times we are completely unaware of the changes we're making. If I am with people who use a lot of profanity, I am likely to use it more often than before. If I am with people who carry cell phones with them all the time, I am apt to carry a cell phone too. If I am with people who praise God openly, I am likely to praise God also. Peer pressure works for both good and bad outcomes. We have to believe this is true. At one time, couples NEVER danced TOGETHER. Men and women NEVER touched when dancing. Then over time, some did. Then later, men frequently danced with women. Now men and women dance together, very closely, even erotically - on television - and it isn't seen as scandalous (depending on the group!!), even on prime time TV!

Since it is true that we conform to what we are exposed to, it makes sense that we need to evaluate our relationships. We should evaluate ourselves in those relationships. We should be growing, becoming someone we WANT to become, AND we should be allowing the other members in our relationships to grow and become who they want to become.

I want to become more Christ-like. Since Christ isn't walking (physically) with me, I need to find people who reflect Jesus' image so I can be conformed to His image. I need to evaluate myself to see if I am changing to be that. If I am not, perhaps my relationships, even though I may LIKE the people in them, may be relationships I need to leave or change. No, I presently do not see any relationships that are causing me damage. But I have some relationships that I have severed or curtailed. I must watch to prevent myself from getting tangled up in the bad parts of those relationships. I limit the amount of time I spend with certain people or situations where I KNOW I will slip into bad habits, slipping even while I know that I shouldn't be doing it.

My relationship with Christ has made me better. I have a long way to go but I know that I am making progress. I no longer feel animosity toward some people. I am more patient. I try to be more empathetic, more considerate, more appreciative, more observant. I try to be less judgmental, bossy, impatient. I work to say I'm sorry when I've hurt someone. (Yes work. Sometimes it takes work to say I'm sorry especially when I don't think I've done anything wrong - that the other person was hurt because they misunderstood, or whatever.) My relationship with Christ has made me better. I hope it is apparent to those who knew me a long time ago. I hope I reflect Christ at least some times.

Jesus, work on me. Put me in relationships that will create the me you want me to be. Amen.

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