Humility - opposite of arrogance

A few years ago I discovered something about myself; that I'd been reluctant to do certain things for fear of failure.  Upon further self-inspection, I discovered that this fear of failure was really a type of arrogance. I would not do things that might cause me to be embarrassed.  Like in high school, I didn't take some of the more difficult classes - like physics, or calculus because ....what if I didn't make an A, or if I studied a LOT but ended up with a (gasp) "C"?  I don't participate in jokes because I will be the one laughed at, (but isn't it really the joke that gets the laugh)?  So, you see, I recognized that fear of humiliation keeps me from doing some things.....and what if some of those things include something for God?

To be honest, I can't think of too many things where fear has kept me from doing something that I felt like God wanted me to do.  I have worried about being the only soprano in choir on Sunday but I think I've gotten past that one.  I think I can do the joyful noise to the Lord thing, not so sure about the beautiful part but it is from my heart so that will have to do.

But because of this fear of humiliation, which is the same as arrogance in my book, I asked God to remove the arrogance from me. God took that prayer request and ran with it, let me tell you.  First, He allowed a person to be hired who would have the ultimate power to get rid of me.  Then He allowed one of my biggest supporters and allies, who also happened to be the president of the company to be fired. (The corporate people eliminated the position.)  Shortly after that, I was demoted from my position to one with lots less authority (and lots less work to do).  Then, the company moved my job to Texas..... without me. Other personal things happened as well to knock me down a notch or two.  (Be careful what you pray for, huh?)

Well, God isn't through with me yet.  I am now trying to get a job.  I was only half-heartedly trying over the first several months of "temporary retirement" but now I am trying, or want to try. I've been for three interviews.  I've mailed or emailed or submitted LOADS of resumes.  One of the people with whom I'd interviewed called to say they'd given the job to someone else.  I wasn't right for the position.  Ok.  I'm sure that may be true.  I'm sure that the person they hired is probably perfect for the job.  BUT that doesn't mean that my feelings aren't hurt.

Which brings me back to arrogance, I think. At some point, I have to recognize that God plays a part in me getting a job also. He will put me in the right place at the right time and put the right words in my mouth at interview time so that I will get the job.....the job God wants me to have.  I just have to keep sending resumes, hunting for places to send them to, calling people for references and job referrals.  and KNOW that God will use this time to refine me for His purposes, to do the job He already has picked out for me.  I need to submit resumes to places for jobs that I am not exactly thrilled with.  God will provide the job.  I have to get over myself and go with the flow.

Dear God,  HELP me go with the flow and get over myself.  Help me get the job you want me to have to do the work you want me to do in the place where you want me.  AMEN